Ah, the all-American booty call. You know what I’m talking about. You pick up the phone, a chick you know answers and you set up the time, you show up, you take care of business, everybody walks away happy. No strings attached, no bullshit drama and definitely no talk about being somebody’s boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or any of that crap. What’s not to love?
Well, unfortunately, just like with other "awesome concepts" in life, the idea of booty call looks great on paper, but is actually quite complicated when carried out in real life. Now, don’t get me wrong, your friends probably talk a good game about the booty call experiences that they have. They probably talk about that nice chick with the big tits that they titty fuck or do all sorts of nasty, freaky action on. This kind of talk gets everybody excited, but let’s face it, a lot of that shit is just fantasy. That’s just your friend talking about shit that he wished was real.
If you want your next booty call to be truly successful, don’t focus on living out a porn movie script. Instead, focus on simply not ruining your next experience. Seriously. I know this sounds crazy, I know it sounds almost depressing, but let’s just stick to what’s real. I know this is kind of like setting the bar low, but be that as it may, this is what you need to do.
Just focus on not ruining your experience because, let’s face it, if you were actually going on a booty call, sex is guaranteed. That’s not the issue. The issue is what happens next. So here are some tips on how not to fuck up your next booty call.
Don’t Get All Emotional
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times the typical macho all-American dude gets as emotional as a little pre-pubescent teenage bitch the moment he sticks his dick in a tight hole. I know that sounds crazy, you know? The guy is all tough and intimidating, but the moment there’s some sort of physical intimacy, the dude falls apart. It’s like the guy just watched some sort of teenage romantic drama and can’t help crying. It’s pathetic. Do yourself a big favor and make sure that you separate your emotions from your physical activities. The whole idea of going on a booty call is all about sex with none of the emotional strings. When you get all emotional, you destroy the underlying rules of the booty call and, chances are, there will be no future calls. Seriously. So consider yourself warned. This is no joke. When you get all emotional, you break the most important rule about the booty call.
Don’t Get Territorial
So what if the chick that you're banging is banging ten other guys? As long as you protect yourself, then she can do whatever the fuck she wants. It’s a booty call after all. Again, if you feel that you’re the only guy she should be banging, you need to check yourself. Seriously. You are in danger of violating rule number one. Check rule number one. Rule number one is: don’t get emotional.
That’s exactly what you’re doing when you feel that you have some way, somehow, have some sort of perpetual title to the pussy. You don’t. She is enjoying her body, just as you are enjoying your body. She’s having a good time, just as you are having a good time. Unfortunately, a lot of guys who get territorial are basically traditional, almost sexists.
What I mean by this is that they think that guys have to operate by a set of rules, while women have to operate by another set. They think that their sisters and mothers are all virgins and some chicks are whores. I’m sorry dude, it doesn’t work that way because men act like whores and it’s unfair to try to typecast women as either virgins or whores. They’re entitled to their own sexuality.
Don’t Get Too Eager
Now, this has more to do with style. If you’re like the type of guy who starts salivating like he just got released from prison the moment you go on a sex date, then you better check yourself. If not, you’ll probably end up scaring away your date. Don’t come up as overly desperate. Don’t act like you’re a kid who got trapped in a candy store for the first time. At least try to play it cool. At least try to come off like you’ve seen it before and you’re not super excited.
You have to remember that the chick’s watching you and she’s thinking of maybe inviting you back. But if you ejaculate at the sound of her voice, then that’s bad news, bro. So do yourself a big favor, pay attention to all the tips above so you don’t ruin your next booty call.